Quarters and breast milk

In recent beer news, there's now an iPhone app that lets you play quarters.

In recent non-beer news, PETA has asked Ben & Jerry's to substitute human breast milk for the cow milk ingredients in their ice cream.

In PETA Executive Vice President Tracy Reiman's words, the suggestion is merely common sense. "The fact that human adults consume huge quantities of dairy products made from milk that was meant for a baby cow just doesn't make sense," she said.

Can't argue with that logic.

That's just stinkin' thinkin!

Proposed official theme of the next Beerluck: "You're good enough, you're smart enough, and doggone it, people like you!"

A penny for your thoughts.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stuart_Smalley

To the bars: The latest on Beerluck NY musings

Featured contributor: Hayes S.

Beerluck Association of New York is now implementing a new beer-cept into this beer-ocracy. Given locational constraints, we are seriously considering a beerluck in a bar with open patio in which pitcher exchange occurs in lieue of 6 pack. Same high standards apply, though this intimate gathering becomes limited, but able to be thrown oftenly and with great impromptu-ness.

Thirty more beer to save the world.

And did you know in Slovakia, its considered rude to whip it out while facing the sun?

Sockpuppetry? I think not.

But some thought so. Remember this fiasco?

Oh man, you should've come to the Wizard Party

And if you did, good. Because it was the real sh*t. I ain't talkin' bout no fake sh*t. Kanye West asks, "Does anybody make real sh*t anymore?" If you were at the Wizard Party, your answer would be a resounding YES. You'd be like, we do. We Wizard Partyers, we do.

Alright, enough of that. What does this mean? Firstly, this was Jon Wirt's birthday party. Secondly, the object of the game is to duct tape the cans of beer that you've finished to the can of beer you are currently drinking, such that a long staff is formed. Right: the kind of staff a wizard might wield. So as you can see, the Wizard Party was kind of like a beerluck, except with much worse beer and no exchange and not really a celebration of tasty beer or anything that resembles a well-crafted brew.

If you're particularly hardcore about drinking non-crappy beer, like Jen and Laura, the lovely ladies photographed below, you can make a staff out of glass bottles, but this requires a level of ninja-dom known only to the deadliest and most loyal beerluck attendees.

Halt the jabbering, get to the photos! Ok, say no more:

Party to Save the World a raging success

Thanks to everyone who made The Party to Save the World possible. We raised a significant sum of cash for the Valentino Achak Deng Foundation to build a secondary school in Marial Bai, Sudan.

All it took was transforming a very typical Friday night of good times, good drinks and great food, into a fundraiser. Good times.

Even with the fantastic party Friday was, we do feel that we owe you a Beerluck very soon. So that, baby, that's a comin'.

Some photos from PTSTW can be found on this Flickr page. More photos can be found on the book.

NYC Beerluck III at Prospect Park - August 16 @ 1:30 pm

Beerluck SEO Triumph

I am proud to announce that Beerluck.com has officially moved to the #1 organic ranking for the Google search query "beerluck."

That might seem trivial, but I assure you it took many months of passive existence to get this blog to the top. Now, if we could only boost interest in the beerluck phenomenon to generate more daily searches. To the beermobile, Robin!

Playpump Daddies & Bike Camping 2008

Featured contributor: Brown Bear.

I need to start this by thanking every one of the "wunderful" ladies
and the oh-so-amazing-yet-equally-ridiculous" gentlemen that made this
debacherous trip a success. A simple time line of events is the only
way to truly describe what we experienced. Please let me know if I
missed something b/c I probably did.

Friday (7/18)
8:59 a.m. - Igor sends out the first email getting everyone amped for the trip.
9:30 a.m. - Igor sends out another email asking me what time I'll be
getting out.
9:31 a.m. - Igor sends out his 5th email of the day making sure I get
out at 3:00 p.m.
3:30 p.m. - Igor, Andy, Raj, and Deepak meet at Embarcadero & Market
to begin the weekend adventure.
3:35 p.m. - Deepak gets a flat tire
4:30 p.m. - Flat tire is fixed by crazy bike shop owner in Marina that
told us all life stories and destroyed all hopes of Deepak's bike
making it through this trip.
4:35 p.m. - Andy's chain breaks and is forced to rent a bike from a
crazy Korean.
5:30 p.m. - Raj makes friends with a bum. Igor & Deepak eat a shitty
Safeway sandwich. Andy shows up with another shitty mountain bike.
7:30 p.m. - The P.P. Daddies make it to Muir Beach. Find a camping
spot. Gather wood for fire. Head to Pelican Inn for amazing food.
10:00 p.m. - P.P. Daddies are getting drunk and the "wunderful" ladies
show up and the party begins.
10:01 p.m. - Cop is spotted at the beach entrance and we have to wait.
Head back to P.Inn and wait for cop to leave.
10:15 p.m. - Head back to the beach parking lot after cop leaves and
haul all our shit to a semi-not-so-secluded part of the beach.
10:45 p.m. - Tents set up. Fire raging. Tequila shots and story telling.
11:30 p.m. - Park rangers roll up on the party and kick us out.
12:45 a.m. - Been boozing in the parking lot trying to find a place to
stay for the night. The ladies head to Mill Valley to find us lodging.
The boys stay back with a 30-pack of beer, bottle of tequilla, box of
muffins, and a bag of chips.
2:30 a.m. - Deepak passed out on the ground next to horses. Andy & Raj
embark on Wizard of Oz journey. Igor is pissed Andy's game of Truth
resulted in bruises and loss of "trust" in Andy.
3:?? a.m. - Two lovely ladies show up and bring the four drunk fools
back to Mill Valley, which is about 10 miles from where we originally
started our trip. The bikes locked together and thrown in a bunch of
trees.
3:?? a.m. - 8 people pass out in a motel room with 1 bed.

Saturday (7/19)

10:00 a.m. - P.P. Daddies are shuttled back to P.Inn to pick up bikes
and begin ride to Stinson beach.
12:00 p.m. - Arrive in Stinson beach. Eat lunch in park. Someone says
"So I took it out of her mouth...." in front of a 10 year old girl.
All innocence is lost!
3:00 p.m. - Ladies have arrived. Andy Crushes Raj's dreams of eating
soft serve ice cream. Ladies head back out to find the guys a place to
stay for the night. Guys get drunk on the beach with a bottle of
Tequila and more obscene comments.
4:00 p.m.- Guys bike to Bolinas. Girls Meet up with us. Deepak gets
lost. Group meets on beach for more booze and chilling.
4:30 p.m. - Group is told not to camp on beach and no places to stay
in Bolinas for the night. Continue boozing.
6:00 p.m. - Ladies once again head out to find lodging. Guys supposed
to follow but Andy's bike lock keys are in the car. Doh!
6:45 p.m. - Guys continue drinking in random field in Bolinas.
7:30 p.m. - No word from the ladies who we thought would be picking us
up. Guys head to beach, start fire, drink bottle of Jack.
8:45 p.m. - No word from Ladies. Igor and Andy head to town to sell
their souls to a bunch of bogans so we can camp in their yard. Igor
gets a business card. Raj & Deepak finish bottle of Jack.
10:30 p.m. - Two lovely ladies return to Bolinas to pick up drunk
fools and cart them back to a shitty camp site in Olema. Bikes are
tied to polls and stashed in someones back yard.
11:30 p.m. - Guys get to camp site and drink more.
1:?? a.m. - Raj and Andy eat random burrito thats been in the fire
wrapped in foil and cooking for hours.

Sunday (7/20)

11:20 a.m. - Miss Jennifer shuttles the boys back to Bolinas to get
bikes. She truly is a savior!!!
11:45 a.m. - Guys finally decide to do the ride and head to Stinson Beach.
12:30 p.m. - Everyone "unloads" and "reloads" and we're back on the road.
2:30 p.m. - Guys make last stop before heading down the hill to Sausalito.
3:05 p.m. - Guys meet up again before crossing the G.G Bridge and head home.
3:30 p.m. - Andy doesn't show up. Guys get scared he's injured. Igor
and Raj go off on a rescue journey. Deepak is alone :(
4:00 p.m. - Andy shows up after ridiculous journey of stupidity but
glad he's safe.
4:30 p.m. - Raj and Igor show up. We head home.

Overall lessons & comments

1. Cell phones are key to survival unless the batteries are dead or
you've got no service. Otherwise they are rendered useless.
2. The "Wunderful" ladies saved our lives and should always be appreciated.
3. The weekend trip was probably the best unplanned and ass backwards
trip i've ever done.

Sorry for the long post. Please respond with any details I may have
missed or you'd like more information on.

Cheers,
Brown Bear

Beerluck 2.0 - Powered by Team Burrito and the Masses

Featured contributors: Hayes, Ari, Mitch and the NYC Beerluck team

"At 2pm, we thought we’d leave by 7. We had stuff to do. At 10pm, I was eating pizza and passing a blunt."

– El Mitch, Charter Member of Team Burrito NYC

Beerluck.

It was about buds, suds, and sun. It was about rambles, scrambles, and hurls. It put the “ay!” in “yay!”. The “beer” in “beerrito”, and the “hi, ari” in “hilarious”.

It cheers, it jeers, and now, by decision of the New York Beerluck Association (NBA), it adjudicates.

In recognition of the past 2 beerlucks, we are proud to distribute the following BeerAwards.

The Blasphemous Brewski – Given to the participant whose entry sucks the most balls

5/18 – Beer: Red Stripe Winnerees: Che & Ravi Prize: Nothing. Not even a shot of mystery juice. Why? Because Beerluck Co-Final Arbiter Guy Hayes put the beer up to popular vote, and it passed. Beerluck Co-Final Arbiter Guy Ari was angry and the superdelegate debate ensued (and continues below).

2/22 – Beer: Michelob Ultra. Winnerees: Allah Palovigor and German Guy Prize: 56K Fax Modem and banishment from all future beerlucks.

Brew de Force – Awarded to the participant who supplies the tastiest libation of the day

5/18 – Winning Beer: Dog Fish Head 90 Min IPA (Extra points for coming wrapped in Bud 6-pack holder). Winneree: Mike Bareket. Prize: Free tacos

2/22 – Winning Beer: Victory Something Something: Winerees: Mitch & John Prize: Not receiving a 56k fax modem.

The subject still of much debate was whether the judging should be a popular vote, or should it rest on the privileged palates of several select superdelegates. Before a pan-Beerluck constitution can be ratified, each jurisdiction will operate under its own nominating rules.

All in all, Beerluck 2.0 was declared a raging success - breaking beer quality records, defying turnout expectation, and making Saturday night partiers out of would-be Sunday casual drinkers (and not to mention the Monday morning experience of many lavatories around Manhattan.) Before long, the beer luck turned into a potluck of sorts, featuring the organic mixed-greens in a super-sized burrito.

11 participants, 66 beers, 0 survivors.

NYC Beerluck II: hot or not?

Let's hear your beery thoughts!

The 'Questionable Beer List' as mystery shot handbook

Featured contributor: Hayes S.

When the Beerluck Constitution was ratified in the Summer of 2006, the founding fathers envisioned protection of the god given right of flavor, complexity, and public urination. As Jefferson had envisioned for our country two hundred years ago, the ideal was an event of independent, small-scale brewers. However, changing times, and political and economic factors are forcing us to reconsider the structure of the organization as a whole, and the judging of inadequate beers. Whereas the Beerluck central authority has traditionally taken a small role in favor of a strong participant-based judicial system, the time has come when the constitution should be amended, or at least have this issue opened to discussion. There are numerous beers that fall in a grey area, whose validity have been continually debated without much consensus. The time is now to set a standard or a scale, and thus I submit to the general Beerluck assembly: the questionable beer list.

Let us decide once and for all, what is acceptable, and what warrants the mystery shot!


Purgatory (additions welcome)


Sierra Nevada

Stella Artois

Becks

Killians Irish Red

Widmer Hefeweizen

Red Stripe

Red Dog

Heineken

Tsingtao

Sapporo

Asahi

Kirin

Modelo (any)

Corona

Dos Equis

Amstel, light

Grolsh

St. Pauli Girl

Yuengling*

Brooklyn Brewery*

* Limit to East coast Beerlucks


Hell:

Bud, lite

Coors, lite

MGD, Lite, High life

PBR (unfortunately)

All non-beer (Bacardi Silver, Smirnoff Twist, Mikes Hard Lemonade)***

All non-alcholic beer***

Tecate

Natty Lite/Ice

Keystone

Steel Reserve**

Pacifico

Fosters

Tequiza ***

Colt 45 (unless paired with 2 zig zags)**/***

Mickeys**

Old English**

** Special consideration given if 6 - 40s are brought, and if that’s how you roll

*** Beers that will place offender in contempt, and shall warrant two shots

Sunday's beerluck to feature drunken mime posse

Alright, so it's been a little while since this puppy has seen any action.

I'm talking about the blog, you d'bag.

But what could be more boring than blogging about how one has not blogged in a while? That's right: very little. So in the spirit of onward and upward, I'd like to talk up this Sunday's very much anticipated Beerluck VI.

Beerluck VI represents a watershed in beerluck history for several reasons. For one, it is the first west coast beerluck since the first east coast beerluck. And despite lack of review by journalists too busy to be named here, I'll confirm that New York City Beerluck I was a rollicking success. There was a significant uptick in shitty beers and mystery shots from SF beerlucks -- expected for the first event of its kind in NY, and the learning curve is a sharp one, aided by snake-infused mystery juice. Drunken play was acquired (not, of course, by yours truly -- I don't do that) and other festivities, including the grand prize fax modem giveaway, were enjoyed by the many visitors to the upper west side that evening.

More on this later.

In the meantime, watch this ridiculous video about reporters eating it. Janet Reno style.

East coast beerluck debut a rollicking success!

Professional coverage by our very own Jocelyn Voo to follow.

Photos also to come soon.

All rejoice!

Caption contest: Goooo India!

It's Monday night. I'm not going to drink that much...

Featured contributor: Deepak G.

Yeah I think all of us said that at one point in time either last week, last year, or sometime during your drunken career. Well, it’s definitely something that the majority of us said last night. When I say "us" I mean Ash, Raj, Igor, Homes, and myself. As a group of "us", we hear a secret tip that a local watering hole by the name of "The Rock-it Room" was having this "crazy" drink special. Honestly that’s all the website said.

Anyway we decided to follow this tip and discover exactly what this "crazy" drink special actually was. It was this "crazy" drink special that made us wish we really didn't say "It's only Monday night. The second I read the billboard standing outside the bar I immediately reconsidered my decision to go out that evening and wonder how terrible it would be for me to show up to work in a stench of booze. Before a decision could be made or i could even begin to regret the decision I was thrust into this bar and I was standing before a tall jack on the rocks, a pint of craft brewed ale and a shot of Montezuma tequila. Yeah and that was the start of the night...

The night progressed with several deep and thought provoking discussions about love, life, and the pursuit of happiness. But before I could even begin to register the conversations at hand I see Jon, the irish bar tender, arrive at the table with 5 shot glasses, 5 limes, and a full bottle of Tequila.

As the night continued, some played pool (Ashwin, Homes & The Old Dude), others continued talking about random gibberish (Igor, Katie, Raj) and some played JENGA (Deepak). Jenga was played by a group of friends who came in for a few drinks. At first we checked out the crew and there were a few cute ones and a few not so cute and a few that we couldn't remember. Regardless I somehow found my way in a game of
Jenga w/ these new friends and it was amazing. Igor wanders over wondering what i'm doing and proceeds to topple the tower in one fell swoop.

It was at this point that I look up to find the rest of the crew. Raj and Homes are across the bar and I can see their lips moving but obviously can't hear what they are saying. I'm sure it was something really interesting b/c their eyes were glued to each other. They were either really involved or trying to focus on something so they
wouldn't fall over (again this is all speculation.) Ash is still playing pool w/ that pseudo creepy old Dude. I'm not sure how many he has had to drink at this point but I just had a feeling he wasn't all together at that point. About 15 or 20 minutes later I find myself downing 3 more shots of tequila and another pint of beer. I then realize it’s only about 10:30 and briefly ponder the consequences of this evening. I figured it was early and it was time for me to engage in some good conversation with
one of these lovely ladies who joined the bar earlier that evening. Igor seemed to be the only one talking to one of these ladies. For some reason I found a "vested" interest in jumping into (read: cockblocking) this conversation. Not really sure what i talked about or how I even found my way into the conversation but about 30 minutes went by before i realized Igor and the crew were nowhere to be found in the bar. I go
for the number and get a "I'll see you here next week right?" at which
point I guarantee my presence and make a B-line for the door.

I walk outside to see Ash and Raj in the middle of Clement street and Igor and Homes kicking it outside for a few. I immediately began to explain myself to Igor saying I wanted to talk to the "girl with short brown hair" meanwhile not even sure if a girl that fit that description even walked in the bar that night. Anyway the begging and
pleading for forgiveness continued for a few minutes before he finally caved (I think???).

We then started our walk home. It was during this walk that I found myself grasping Ashwin by any and all means necessary. Twas not an easy task my friends. I let him go for a minute to check my phone only to see him walk into a street pole. I grabbed him again and held him up practically the entire way home. I couldn't really tell you what everyone else was doing at this point in time b/c I needed to maintain all focus on Ashwin and his body b/c if i didn't he would end up on the ground and I would lose interest without giving it a second thought. Anyway the conversation was very one sided and consisted of "Deepak. I love you man.....like I love you man.....no matter where i'm at.....i love you man......i mean seriously......like i'm serious man...."

About 30 minutes later we made the walk that should have taken no more then 15 minutes for a new born baby. Within a few feet of my house a mystery voice (raj) tells Homes to start beating the shit out of the garbage cans. I immediately come to my senses and get the situation under control. Unfortunately as a result I dropped Ashwin. After getting Homes back under control Ashwin somehow or another ended up
30 feet back talking to Igor and Raj. Holmes started to wander around aimlessly and needless to say I lost all interest and made a B-line for my front door.

About 15 minutes later I hear a bang on the door. Ashwin is already on his knees and crawling up the stairs. His body falls into the hallway and behind him comes the rest of the crew. Nobody really has any idea what’s going on. I found two options here. I could either A) try and get everyone to a reasonable resting place and get them all some water. or B) step over the body, ignore the drunkards, get some water, and go to bed. Again, all interest was lost instantly and I was in bed within a matter of minutes.

The rest of the night was difficult to explain. I felt sober and was ready to sleep. Although I couldn't quite fall asleep b/c I would close my eyes only to hear the lovely sound of two young gentlemen releasing all of the vile and evil liquids that found their way into their stomachs that evening.

It was a good night. We'll be back again next Monday. But I swear, it'll be a Monday night. I'm not going to drink that much.

Monday night mayhem

Have a story about weeknight mayhem? Become a featured contributor!

Ashwin, Rajen, Homes, Deepak and Igor star in this episode, entitled, "Rocked by the Rockit Room."

The evening started off like any Monday evening might and like many have in Mondays past. Dinner, a beer, an episode of Seinfeld where Jerry gets angry at Banya for being annoying. But the true protagonists in this story are not the five aformentioned drunken soldiers. The true protagonist is an innocent lady named Katie.

Katie invited me to Rockit Room for some harmless Monday night jubilation, having procured a flyer that advertised a free shot with every beer. So I went. And a few friends came. Four friends.

The thing is, we weren't going to drink much. We had a beer, had a shot, and put ourselves into a booth. But our bartender John, an upbeat English fellow recently over from London, promptly came over to our zone of lounging, placed five shot glasses assertively on the table, poured a generous round of tequila shots, donated a few limes and fucked off. We shrugged and, well, down the hatch.

This kept happening. All night.

This did not bode well for the morning.

This was inevitable and a result of our propensity to get ourselves into trouble.

Pool was played with old men named I-forget-what. Questionable-looking girls were hit on and their drunken suitor-hopefuls were embarrassingly unabashed. Drinking jenga was played, and NOT well. One of us may or may not have toppled the jenga tower on the 3rd turn of the game, a tell-tale sign of moderate blood alcohol content. People were met, spoken to, names were scarcely remembered.

Some of us returned more coherent than others -- I like to consider myself one of the proud few, though all is relative -- but the walk home did not end without streetside urination, wrestling and falling, not necessarily in that order. An unnamed clansman ended up lying in a gutter for what seemed like a short period of time.

Katie wisely removed herself from harm's way by leaving in the early hours of this saga. Like a Houdini among sherpas, she abandoned us on the most perilous peaks of Mt. Kilamandrunko.

Thank you Miss Katie for writing, directing and producing a night of debauchery. We just wish you'd have joined the cast.

Back to caressing my water and watching the clock.



Update: I am pleased to announce that our very close friend vomit also made an appearance last night. Luckily, she also made a disappearance. A pair of unnamed cast members -- or rather, they have names, but I shan't name them here -- decorated my bathroom floor with a chunky rendition of the famous big white phone call. And speaking of phones: one unlucky cast member did manage to come home cellphoneless.

Upper West Side Story

Featured contributor: Hayes S.

Kermita Kermita. She reminds me of an Upper Westside story.

She was the third pup of her liter, a runt whom no one expected to survive. It was her mother’s second litter, having eked out a living in the trash alleys of 103rd St. Soon after her birth her mother passed away during the winter of 2007, leaving poor Kermita to live a life as an orphan. One day during a foraging street in the subway, she met a rat named Rico, who took pity on her and took her in.

Rico lived fast and dangerous, the leader of his gang, “the 95th St Rodents”, who controlled a majority of the dropped crumbs and sour milk market. During a turf war with the East-side Stooges, Rico was killed during a fly-by dropping. An internal power struggle resulted, in which jealous rivals turned Kermita out to the streets, where she was forced to become a rodent of the night just to make ends meet.

During one of her nocturnal encounters, she met young Kermit (purely coincidental), a brown-furred, street-wise vagabond, who took pity on poor Kermitta and took her, literally and figuratively, into his nest, in a wall cavity of a Morningside flat. He showed her that subtlety, stealth and smarts would always win out over bravado and strength.

Kermit ran a rice racket, and drove a rice rocket, and through his secret network of tunnels was able to store enough food to survive the harsh winters. Kermita was content for awhile. Kermit showed her a life she never could have dreamed of, where stale cheese, crumbled wheat thins and spinach roots were abundant as well as the freedom to flaunt her excrement all over the cookware of her host benefactors.

One night, Kermit didn’t come home. She searched everywhere, waited and waited, and one day found one of his whiskers trapped between the floorboards of his favorite haunt. He was never coming home. It was then when Kermita decided to venture out on her own, to the house that Kermit had always warned her against… the lair of the evil Turk.

The legend of the Turk was a familiar one: he was over 5’ tall, so ugly as to freeze a mouse into stone, with fire belching out both ends like the hound of Hades. He guarded a treasure that gave its bearer the power of life and death itself! Having lost everything, she decided to risk her life to bring back the ones she loved.

The lair was empty when she entered, though the Turk’s stench was so pungent it made her eyes water. Looking around, she discovered it deserted, but then was attracted by a solitary saltine sitting in the crevice by the food box. Another step in and it was too late. The evil Turk had anticipated her visit and she now found herself paws deep in a gooey adhesive.

The Turk emerged from the shadows to find poor vulnerable Kermita struggling to free herself from her prison- he planned to force her to drink the nectar of the snake with which his breathe already reeked, and then ravage her (she was less worried about this one; as legend had it, his genitalia was undersized even for mouse standards). Another figure emerged behind him, and it occurred to Kermita that the Turk was simply a slave to this higher being. The being was reasonable and wise, and simply wanted his cookware not to be defecated upon. With a blur of light and a snap of his fingers, Kermita found herself reunited with all her loved ones- her mother, Rico, and most of all, the love of her life, Kermit.

Vitamin Beer

From ABS-CBN News...

This could be the start of something big...and healthy.

A Filipino-made beer with Vitamin B took center stage during the gathering of members of the International Federation of Inventors' Association in Bangkok, Thailand, recently.

Some of the inventions showcased by inventors from all over the world included chopsticks that double as a toothbrush and a hi-tech sandwich filling spreader.

The crowd, however, made a bee-line to the beer concocted by Filipino inventor Billy Malang.

Unlike ordinary beer, Malang's beer has Vitamin B.

"All clear beers have no vitamins. It just contains alcohol, which is converted to sugar which gives you a big tummy, called the beer belly. So I brought back the Vitamin B to make beer a healthier habit," said Malang.

Next beerluck, first one to stroll in with vitamin beer is the rotten egg.

What Beerluck means to me: a retrospective

Featured contributor: Hayes S.

Let us first consider the origins of the Beerluck tradition from the etymology of the term, coined by the Gupta tribe of the Atlantic northeast. The term is popularly known as an adaptation of the standard term “potluck”, a culinary event in which food preparation was shared among participating members. The term Beerluck holds similar associations (a feast of libations, in which refreshment is gathered by participant revelers), but its deeper connotations are worth investigating.

The first half of the term comes from the original English word “Beer”, defined as “an alchoholic drink made from yeast-fermented malt flavored with hops” by Webster’s Dictionary. We shall take this definition at face value for now, though I shall argue that my urine-fermented horse sweat flavored with butterscotch needs to enter the lexicon, but I digress.

The second half “luck” is more interesting. It is defined as “something as regarded as bringing about or portending good or bad things.” Despite the idiomatic associations with its predecessor, I will argue that the act of Beerluck tradition incorporates the conjunctive meaning of its name- in other words, the ability of the event to combine the popular beverage with either ominous or auspicious events.

Let us take Beerluck II (January 20, 2007) as a detailed case study. This is the first time we see the ability of the institution to bring four remote visitors to San Francisco, Jen Nyein, Jon, and Ari (not depicted for reasons of lavatory sodomy – see Igor*), whom I’ll refer to as Jenyeinyonari. The joyous reunion was not without consequence.



Beer, as we all know, undergoes a transformative process, its ultimate form shown below. However, aside from its physical properties, the mental effects cannot be discounted, causing its recipient to flaunt his dispensary tool to a passerby. This is yet another way that the beverage, through indirect means, transcribes itself upon the “other”. It also portends more ominous events.



Beer allows for the perceptual transformation of one’s abilities, and the neglect of one’s shortcomings. Take for example, the game of backyard soccer, played with disregard to safety, or the puddle of transformed beer shown above. Here is the result:



Next, I will show an image series illustrating the cause and effect of the Beerluck phenomenon in which the dialectic between the auspicious and the ominous is played out constantly. The transition between the idyllic and the sublime is near imperceptible.



Only as this Beerluck phenomenon evolves will we begin to answer the poignant questions of its time - what will it become, what will it entail, where will it move, and what forms of punishment will result?

I will conclude with a parting thought – if a man rolls a die ten times and “6” comes up thrice, is he a matador?

Beerluck V Makes Jade's Parade

Don't miss Jade's coverage of the much-praised event.

Caption contest

Best caption in the comments wins a beer.

Average German much less drunk than average beerluck attendee

German beer sales are at their lowest in 15 years. Last year its lederhosen-clad inhabitants (and all the other ones, too) consumed just 22 billion pints of beer. In a nation of 84 million, that’s 267 pints per person per year, or just about 2/3 of a pint per day.

Beerluck has done more to singlehandedly boost beer sales than any other event in its class. Germany, get your doppelganger on and appropriate the beerluck tradition!

Jon Dayan's predictions for Beerluck V

Featured contributor: Jon D. (and he gets respect)

I can only guess what might happen at any gathering that includes many of my favorite people in the world along with many of my favorite liquids in the world... but I will add a little imagination to my comments and assume that those of us who have scattered will be there as well:

a) some sort of sport will be played on the lawn, be it bocce ball, frisbee, football, or wrestling. in fact, i guess at least two of the games in the list will be played (wrestling is a must).

b) singing loudly with arms all a-tangle seems to be a must

c) least one of the following will break:

-seeing glasses
-drinking glasses
-fence
-hayes
-guitar string

d) ashwin and i will fondle each other

e) we will reminisce about the past, and tell potential stories of the future

f) blabbering

g) after most of the extras have left and there really is just an intimate few (you know, like 20 or so), guitar playing will inevitably occur

h) hayes will confuse himself

i) laughter

j) tears

k) love

l) i'll probably end up in igor's bed

m) then we'll finish off such a perfect evening with sliding hangover food and have a moment of silence during "breakfast" for coffeesource.

Beerluck: It has a story and there was a beginning...

Featured contributor: Deepak G.

Good friends. Good beer. Great times!

That was the thought that spawned the beginning of this tradition several years ago. I wanted to give everyone some insight on how the Beer Luck came to be so we can all truly appreciate it together.

About 4 years ago I while I attended Drexel University in Philadelphia about 10 or 12 friends of mine got together for the 1st Annual Christmas Case Exchange. We held the exchange the weekend before the holiday break which worked out perfect because we were in the middle of a prime east coast brewing season.

The event worked liked this. Everyone who attended had to show up with a case (24 bottles) of exceptional beers. We blacklisted anyone to even tried to enter the house with any type of beer an average college student would consume. Yes some will call us "beer snobs" and I've once got "elitist asshole" (no joke). Screw off! I'm not beyond drinking the PBR's, Miller's, Coor's, and Corona's of this world but sometimes it feels good to drink a great beer.

Continuing...Each case had to arrive at the house gift wrapped and cold. Upon entering the house they each received a number. After all guests were accounted for, everyone picked numbers and the exchange began. Each guest got to pick the case of their choice in order based on the number they were given.

All in all there were about 13 guests with cases at the party. Lets do the math real quick, 13 cases of beer X 24 beers = 312 of the most amazing beers to keep you entertained for the evening. The minimum purchase price for this exchange was $25. Some went over and some just made it but you can't find a bar in any city that will let you drink that much good beer for less than $25.

Throughout the night you could beg and barter amongst friends to exchange beers and see what new beers would bless our palates that season. Some were new, some were old, and some will never be forgotten. Needless to say the night ended in debauchery, loss of memory, and plenty of good stories. The following morning I experienced the most well deserved hang-over any college student could ever appreciate.

My friends back east still celebrate this yearly tradition and for the past year we've begun to celebrate our own tradition. Each Beer Luck is a little different with some new flavor but I'll leave that for another time.

Good Beers + Good Friends = Great Times!

Try your (beer) luck at beer golf

Can't wait to beerluck Sunday? I know the feeling. Assuage the anticipatory jitters with a game of beer golf.

Pre-Beerluck Debauchery

Anticipation of a beerluck can bring peculiar thoughts into the mind of a beerluck goer. We've all had inklings of doubt about going out on the pop the night before or even the Friday night before. But if you're like me, you don't let those pangs of clarity keep you from the true mission.

I'd like this post to accomplish two things. First, we'll play the game of choosing, from the multiple choice quiz below, which things did and/or did not occur last night -- the Friday before Beerluck. Next, we'll play the game of predicting what will and will not occur at Beerluck V.

'Twas the Friday before Beerluck V, and all through the SOMA:

(a) Ashwin and I slapped each other
(b) "Dishoom, baby" occurred at a profound level and swept Gordon Biersch as the latest sensation
(c) Michael Bolton showed up and shared stories of the witness protection program
(d) Eric and Jade got freakalicious on the Gordon Biersch dance floor next to a geriatric couple
(e) The Wicked Witch of the West made an appearance (and may or may not have pooped in Rajen's shoes)
(f) The VIP area was raped and pillaged for booze
(g) A flask of Dewar's was not-that-inconspicuously consumed in the bar.
(h) Many of us, including myself, rounded third. And I'm not talking about girls.
(i) Scotch was ordered and poured down gullets.

Now, in the comments, your input is requested. What are your predictions for Beerluck V?

Here are mine:

(a) Someone will hop the fence and steal our neighbors' childrens' toys... again.
(b) Neighbors will be angered at the exposure of certain Indian guests to their wives, dogs and other familial riff raff.
(c) Cashew feni will rear its ugly head, and may, as I learned last night, be actually enjoyed by no more than one individual. Swapnil, I'm talkin' to you.
(d) A bunch of random people will NOT show up this time, though more fools will be drinking in our house than an "intimate gathering" can accurately describe.
(e) Late in the night, some form of indoor wrestling will occur, to my dismay and unsolicited participation.


I hope your contributions are much funnier.

Finally: do you believe in life after Beerluck? If so, you may prepare yourself for it by perusing this brief piece of literature.

The battle for recognition

This website launches, my friends, at an important moment in beerluck history. We find ourselves at a crossroads fighting a landmark battle: the battle for beerluck recognition.

The Wikipedia beerluck definition, a page that is dying (or dead) as you read this, has been the subject of intense cyber-debate. We beerluck goers don't take this kind of thing lying down. Not from some nerdily militant clan of know-it-all Web 2.0 wiki-mongers. I'll spare you my further sardonic commentary and allow you to see for yourself the tumult we've unleashed (click the image to zoom in):